Imperfect Marriages – a practice in connection

To continue our conversation about connection and the need for connection within families, we turn our attention toward marriages. Scripture is full of instruction on responding with kindness.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

” A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire” (Proverbs 15:1) “Kind words heal and help, cutting words wound and maim” (Proverbs 15:4)

Horsemanship is a dance. It is a partnership. So often people think that it is one being telling another being what to do, but when horsemanship is at its very very best, it is an invitation to a partnership. It is a soft connection, not a dictatorship. The leader isn’t “the boss,” instead, the leader is the one who goes first and offers the invitation. Starting to sound familiar?

Marriage, at its very best, is the husband going first. It is the husband dying to himself and loving his wife as Christ loves the church. ( Ephesians 5) That is what makes it safe for the woman to submit. Good leaders 1) know who they are 2) have vision and direction that they can communicate clearly.

Have you ever watched a woman dance with a man who doesn’t know where he is going and/or doesn’t know how to communicate where he is going? Have you ever been a dance partner to someone like this? It is really really hard to follow when there is no clear direction, no clear communication. Scripture says “without vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18). Vision is vital to a successful marriage.

So what does this have to do with connection? Vision will inform the connection. Connection without vision and identity is lightness not softness. Hear the difference. Lightness lacks connection. Softness defines it. Vision will deplete the anxiety. Vision will give the wives and children something to get on board with.

So, why is vision specifically important to the family? Tune in next week when you will learn the answer.

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