Why does this desert seem to go on for-ev-er?!

When the Israelites left Egypt they spent 4o years in the desert.  40 YEARS.  I know we find ourselves familiar with this story; so familiar that we forget to slow down and sometimes take it for granted.  But this story in scripture is so important in new seasons and sessions of transition.  Transition…ugh… that word is not my fave.  Today, as I flew home after the Restlands Retreat in Colorado, I cried.  I cried a lot.  Colorado is where Horse and Soul started.  Colorado is where the people who were my friends became truly my family.  They loved me when I was most unlovable.  As I drove around, what I consider my “hometown” even though I only lived there in my twenties, I looked around at all the memories.  “That is the horse I trained, that is where I used to teach riding lessons, that is where I used to live, and there is where I used to get the most incredible french pastries and mocha.” My finger was pointing at all these familiar places that make my heart warm up and feel cozy.  It was an amazing season.  I loved it, yet I am certain there were hard times that I do not remember.  I was distracted at that time because I resented my singleness and was frustrated with that reality in my life.  After some encouragement and mentoring I became more contented in my singleness and experienced hope in that area.  In 2015 life changed significantly.  I met my husband in May and less than a year later we were married.  Less than a year from our wedding day, in December 2016 we moved to Texas for my husbands job and life changed dramatically again.  I was excited for what was to come, and I didn’t realize how challenging building a new life with new community in a completely new place would be.  Shortly after our move, I became pregnant with our daughter and that added a whole other level of challenge to our life.  Combine it with marriage challenges and I found myself frustrated and angry about our move.  A year later, in 2018, in a conversation with my mentor and friend, Elaine Davis, she reminded me of the Israelite story again.  She said, “Do you know why the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years?  It is because they kept looking back.  It is time to look forward and see what God has for the future, not in the past.”  My heart felt this truth.  So, what is God doing here in Texas anyway? God is developing Horse and Soul to be the kind of ministry that is helpful for people all over the world.  It is developing to be a school of ministry that equips and empowers others in FBEAP ministry to thrive and survive.  The catch?  I have to look forward.  There is no going back.  I have to burn the ships and take the next step.

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